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Eating burgers with a knife and fork is grand and we'll hear nothing against it
Channel 4 Channel 4
ON SUNDAY, ACTOR Matthew Lewis ate pizza with a knife and fork on live TV, and viewers were scandalised.
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But what was wrong with his actions? Why should he be vilified for eating food neatly?
We can’t let this slander against people who eat burgers and pizza with a knife and fork go unanswered. JUSTICE FOR THE CUTLERY-WIELDERS.
So first things first – burgers are super difficult to eat
Instagram / senyoritamary Instagram / senyoritamary / senyoritamary
Seriously. Bite into one and more often than not, the contents go flying out the other side. You get sauce all over your hands, sauce all over your face – this is not a good food experience.
Secondly, some people don’t feel comfortable going to town on a burger in a public place
Twitter / @d2falex Twitter / @d2falex / @d2falex
And we should respect that.
And thirdly, most burgers are fecking MASSIVE
Jaw-dislocatingly massive.
Instagram / maria_vrj Instagram / maria_vrj / maria_vrj
Cutting a burger in half is the safe option. Cutting it into quarters is even better.
Some women also have the chin-lipstick problem to consider
Cutting up the burger keeps your lipstick (mostly) on your lips, and your dignity intact.
As for pizza – well, it’s hot, and you never know when those toppings are going to go sliding off
Instagram@stevier_mgc Instagram@stevier_mgc
Best cut it up to be sure.
In closing, cutlery is the saviour of neat freaks and small-mouthed people everywhere
Twitter / @lomaxx Twitter / @lomaxx / @lomaxx
We will not be silenced. *holds fork aloft in solidarity*
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Burgers cutlery Etiquette Knifey Spooney Pizza